Discarded Deplored Disgusting
by KrazyKimmy
Summary: A note to Severus from Lily is left on the floor.  Minerva McGonagall bumps into a crying Severus Snape- his love for Lily stays strong even if their relationship is over. Chapter four now up! :D
1. Chapter 1

Minerva inadvertently screamed upon walking into the student.

"Oh, Mr Snape." She sighed, recovering her breath.

"What are you doing out of bed out of hours?" She demanded, silently wondering why he kept turning away from her.

He had his head leant against the wall, and was slumped against it; she wondered whether or not the students had been on another drinking binge.

"Mr Snape, I'm waiting." Her voice came out a great deal sterner than she felt. Indeed, her heart was still racing having walked straight into the fifth year Slytherin.

The young man slowly turned to her.

His normally so guarded face was void of that emotionless state; yet Minerva couldn't be sure if she was correct in presuming that he was as depressed as he looked.

All the same, she gave a worried from.

Severus sighed, and leant his head against the wall.

He looked down, and shakily breathed in. "Professor?"

His voice was small, and vulnerable. So unlike the usual arrogantly confident, condescending voice Minerva was used to hearing from him.

Minerva went to speak; but no sound came out. What could you say at a time like this?

The boy in front of her wiped his tears from his checks, then lifted his head up to look his teacher in the eye.

"Can-" He gave a shaky gasp, "Can you tell Lily Evans I said sorry?"

With that, he bit his lip then ran off; the sound of soft feet hitting the floor the only thing keeping Minerva from thinking she imagined the whole thing.

Shaking her head to her students troubles, yet making a mental note to pass on the Slytherin's message, Minerva continued her corridor duty.

Left on the floor, dropped by the boy and over-looked by the adult; lay a note.

'Severus Snape,

You are vile, uncaring, and not

the boy I thought I once knew and loved.

If you know what's good for you, you'll never

come near me again. I promise you I will

never forgive you.

Don't speak to me – we're over.

Lily.'

Fresh droplets of water smudged the ink, yet it was readable all the same. Those words never left a certain young man's mind; until the very day he died.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to 'Nymma' for persuading me to keep writing, and MapleTreeway for making me smile with her cute reviews.

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><p>Minerva scratched her head, slightly confused as she walked into the Gryffindor common room.<p>

She flopped (well maybe not flopped, but sat down rather heavily) on one of the armchairs; thoughtfully vacated by a student upon seeing her.

"Something wrong, Professor?" The student asked.

Minerva jumped, hearing who it was. "Lily!" She loosely pointed a finger at the student, and swivelled in her seat, her eyes wide.

"Professor?" Lily bent down slightly as she spoke, putting her head on one side, frowning at the unusual behaviour of her mentor.

"Miss Evans, I..." Minerva stumbled over her words. How best to describe what she just saw? She put her cold fingers on her face, pinky fingers outlining the shape of her lips.

The teacher sighed, and put her elbows on the arms of the armchair and sighed again; looking up at the student. "Please, take a seat." She said, waving an arm and conjuring another chair.

"Am I in trouble, Professor?" The red-head asked, nervously sitting down.

"Yes and no." Minerva bobbed her head as she replied.

"Did I hear this right? Lily in trouble?" James called out, swaggering over with the marauders.

'Go away James.' Minerva said tartly- or at least she wished she could. "Mr Potter, please allow me to talk to Miss Evans in peace." She looked pointedly at the other Gryffindor's through her glasses which sat low on her nose.

"Of course, of course!" James smiled as he held up his hands, "I'm just going to sit here by the fire, and warm myself up." His eyebrows were lost in his hairline as he smiled mischieveoulsy.

"Mr Potter," Minerva sighed, placing a hand to her forehead, "Fine, fine. I can't be bothered to deal with you at the moment."

She stood up, glancing around the rest of the Gryffindor common room. "Lily, follow me if you please."

And with that, Minerva walked straight into the full-length mirror that was propped up in the corner of the room.

Lily raised a single eyebrow at James, flirting with him before smiling and following her teacher.

James swore colourfully, as the mirror was to him- just a mirror. "That is sooo not fair." He ran a hand through his hair, and pursed his lips; admiring his reflection.

"Careful James," Sirius laughed, "The old bat might be watching."

* * *

><p>"Yeah, bet she likes that, ay?" James nudged him, laughing.<p>

Lily sat down, perching on the edge of a desk in her Transfiguration classroom as her teacher paced.

Finally, Minerva stopped, and leaned against a desk opposite Lily.

"I just had a rather bizarre conversation with Mr Severus Snape." Minerva rushed, breathless.

Lily looked down; blushing.

"What are your immediate thoughts?" Minerva whispered.

"He's a heartless bastard." Lily whispered back, from behind clenched teeth.

Minerva raised her eyebrows, and bit her lips, nodding her head; trying not to sat anything about the language.

"That wasn't how he appeared when he was crying; one would presume about losing you." Minerva frowned worriedly; what had caused her Gryffindor to close her heart up?

Lily frowned, angry; then worried. Then... an endless cycle of turmoiling emotions.

"I'm sorry Professor- I can't abide the dark arts that Sniv- Severus loves; and I won't be friends with someone who calls me a mudblood."

Minerva reeled back. She looked away, mind reeling. "I'm sure he didn't mean it." She breathed. "There were tears enough to prove that."

Lily stood up, "No offence Professor, but it's been a while since you were a teenager. Stick to teaching- not matchmaking? And leave my love-life alone." Her face was hard, her eyes cold and narrowed. She sounded VERY condescending.

Minerva was speechless as her student slammed her classroom door on the way out.

"...huh!" She shook her head, "Lily..." She breathed.

Minerva stood up, her head to one side as she looked in the mirror. She didn't look _that_ old.

Frowning, she waved her wand, retracting all her hairpins and taking her hair down in an effort to try and appear younger.

As usual, it fell to her shoulders in loose curls. Flecked with grey, her black her made her look even more pale; and as she sighed over the state of her students, she giggled quite against her will knowing if Albus saw her now he would point and say 'sex hair'.

That's what he called the mess of tumbled curls that fell about her face; enchanting hair to unravel from her tight bun always ending in a gazillion knots and frizz.

Minerva gave a sad smile, then transformed into a cat; wondering the castle and thinking she really should set a bed-time for her lions. If they shouldn't be wandering the corridors- then they should be in bed. Not staying up all hours in their common room.

She entered the great hall; and stood in front of the house-points hourglasses.

"Twenty-points from Gryffindor." She whispered. That should teach Lily for being so rude... Yet it placed Gryffindor last... The girl needs to learn...

Caught up in an emotional tangle, McGonagall was completely oblivious to the Headmaster creeping up behind her.

A mad twinkle was in his eyes; which became worried upon seeing Minerva's torn face.

"Is this a bad time to mention your hair?" He ventured, trying a smile to cheer up his friend.

Minerva frowned, waving a hand at him. "The students are... troubled, Albus. How do I solve... an inter-house relationship gone badly wrong..."

"Miss Evans and Mr Snape?" Albus guided her to a seat by her elbow.

"How did you-"

"Rumours reach even my ears." He smiled, "And Sir Cadagon is rather a gossip." The headmaster's eyes twinkled; as he fiddled with a strand of his grey hair.

Minerva looked away, her shoulders slumped, and tears welling in her eyes. "Am I old, Albus?" Her voice was soft- and that worried the man sitting opposite her.

"My dear-"

"Miss Evans thinks so!" Minerva said indignantly.

"I'm at least 30 years older-"

Minerva shook her head. "No..." She bit a fingernail nervously.

"Sorry, Albus." She said, standing up, "I have to ….." She shook her head again, then left; transforming into her animagus; and running off along the table top.

Albus frowned, watching the tabby, then the table top. "Was it something I said?"

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><p>He shrugged it off; and walked out of the great hall, humming to himself.<p>

Minerva timidly tugged a strand of hair, wondering if he would even still be awake.

She was outside of the Slytherin common room's, trying to build up the courage to knock.

She couldn't enter; well. Technically she could- but she didn't want to burst in.

She bit her lip.

"Professor?" Asked a slurred voice, thick with tears.

"Ah, Mr. Snape, just the person I wanted to see. Um..." Minerva tilted her head, the boy might not be in her house- but she still didn't like to see him upset.

She watched him, pitifully sniffling and crying; and her heart melted. Some people were so heartless.

"Why don't you come with me to the kitchens and we'll have some hot coco?" She smiled.

"Pro-Professor?" Severus didn't look like he was refusing, simply... confused. "But- but it's late and-"

"And tomorrow is a Saturday. I don't think anyone would mind if we both slept in a bit. Ay?" Minerva gingerly went to put her arms around the shoulders of the young boy, and when he didn't refuse, softly set off in the direction of the kitchens.

She would have liked to have talked to him in the cosiness of her own quarters, but if Albus ever found out- there would have been no end of it. Especially with hair like this, she frowned to herself.

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><p>This turned out rather odd- but I kinda like in its own special way.<p>

Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

OK so it's not that brilliant, but im in the middle of watching AVPM for the first time ever. And thank you sooo much to all my awesome reviewers; butterbeers on me next time we're at the Hog's Head. :)

PS- Lily is walking the corridors back to the common room...

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><p>Lily sighed. Things were an awful, awful mess. She'd just been rude to McGonagall- but the bat needed to learn that Lily wasn't going to be pushed around anymore.<p>

And, if Severus, if Snivellus wanted to call her a mudblood- well he could go shove his wand up his-no. He'd probably enjoy that, she giggled.

Not in all the years she'd known him had he expressed any liking in women... not in all the years she'd known him had ever bad-mouthed her either, though.

Snivellus deserves what he gets, though.

If he doesn't want her help- she'll bloody well make him wish, make him pray for her to help him. She'll stand there with the 'marauders', James be damned (she really couldn't abide the lust-ridden animal, she only pretended to to rile Severus.) and would taunt Severus until he begged for mercy.

Good God, what was wrong with her? She sounded like Potter!

"Hello, my dear." A soft voice behind her made her jump.

"Oh," She sighed upon turning around. "Um, hello Professor." She smiled, then turned around to continue on her way.

"Ah ah ahh!" Dumbledore gently put a hand on her shoulder and held her in place. "I've just been talking to Professor McGonagall, you know. She seemed quite upset. And as I understand it, you seem to be at the cause of her concerns." Dumbledore gently chided her; walking one step at a time, his hand still on her shoulder.

"Sir, I... I.. I really don't, want, to talk at the moment, sir. I..." Lily sighed; and turned her head to face the man next to her.

His blue eyes twinkled kindly, and he smiled at her. "You know, I may be seventy odd years older than you; but I still remember what it was like to be your age. I know how difficult it is, and how frustrated you can get- but listen to me when I tell you- life outside these castle walls is so much harder, so much more complicated."

"Is that why you chose to stay here, sir?" Lily sneered.

Dumbledore smiled, recognising the malice in her words, but reading the soft expression behind her eyes. "Yes, Miss Evans it is. And so I get the pleasure of helping children like you find your way in the world. Which surely, Miss Evans, does not include torturing poor Mr Snape; nor breaking Professor McGongalls heart."

"Sir?" Lily wondered, what would he know?

"Mr Snape has always been at odds with himself. You know that better than I do. He didn't have the easiest childhood; and now you and he are in rival houses. Imagine him as a child for a moment; easily influenced by whomever he's around. By you, he's quiet, and thoughtful, and caring. By some of the Slytherin house, say Lucius, Crabbe and Goyle; he's cold, controlling and … rather rude." Dumbledore frowned.

"Understatement of the year." Lily muttered.

"Yes, Miss Evans; but don't you think the Severus you know would feel bad for that, feel sorry. Want to make things better?"

Lily looked up, surprised by the change in formalities. "Snivellus needs to grow up. Choose. He can't stay with me; and them forever."

"Name-calling will get you no-where." The Headmaster chided.

"Sir, Sir please. I..." Lily sighed. "He called me what he did, he knows what he did. And I know that too. He's a Slytherin. I'm a Gryffindor. I'm with James and Sirius now, and if Severus wants me back; then; well. It's none of your business." She finished, weakly.

"And if he wants you back; you'll fight him every step of the way." Dumbledore finished for her, stopping outside the portrait of the fat-lady.

"Poppycock." Lily muttered.

The Potrait of the Fat Lady swung open, slightly daunted by the way in which her password seemed more directed at the Head than at her.

"Miss Evans..." Albus called after her.

She turned around, leaning against the Fat Lady's frame. "Please refrain from insulting my staff again." He told her, a smile on his face but ice in his heart.

She nodded curtly, then closed the portrait in his face.

"Albus?" The Fat Lady ventured.

"My dear Lady." He smiled, he always had time for others.

"Is there anything I could do to help?" She twisted a curl of her locks.

"Simply; protect the cubs; yet remind them they are not yet lions." He smiled, then went on his way to bed.

But not before a hot chocolate, and perhaps a lemon drop or ten.


	4. Chapter 4

Minerva gently lead Severus to the kitchens; trying to coax him into talking.

She wasn't exactly sure what was going on; and didn't know much about Severus's relationship with Lily; but she knew when she was younger (that wasn't really that many years ago) that whenever she was feeling down, a talk and a hot chocolate always made her feel somewhat better.

Minerva smiled, and hugged the boy closer to her.

He looked up, no longer crying; but his eyes were still shining with unspent tears.

"Would you like to do the honours?" Minerva asked, coming to a halt in front of a portrait of fruit.

Severus smiled weakly up at her, and gently traced his finger along the pear.

With a soft creak, the portrait swung open, revealing a flight of stairs and too many house elves to count.

"Misser Snape! Misser Snape, we is looking for yous!" An elf ran up to the boy and half-dragged him down the steps and towards a large table.

"See? See? We is keeping it safe, Misser Snape"Another house elf proudly boasted, a tea-cosy on his head and patchwork trousers made of multi-colour spotty handkerchiefs.

Severus shook his head, "Pardon?" HE sniffled, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear and bending down to be the Elves height.

Minerva placed a hand over her heart, touched at Severus's respect for the creatures.

An elf wrapped in a tea-towel, Roman/Greek style came forward, carrying a scrap of parchment. "Sees? We pick-ked it ups, and saving it from Misser grumpy-cats Filches."

Severus snickered. It was no secret that Filch and his darling Mrs Norris hated elves.

"Thank you." Severus said, holding out his hand to take the note.

Then, without even looking at it; a lump in his throat, he stood up and handed the parchment to Minerva, face down.

"Lily-" Severus started, trying to restrain the tears threatening to flow, threatening to overtake him. But it was so hard- he was so weak...

So he simply turned the note over, so Minerva could read it; and let it speak for itself.

He sat at the table, lost in thought; trying not to cry.

"Missy Minevra! Minevra!" An shrill voiced elfette cried, almost dropping the mug she was drying. "You is weepings!"

She ran over to the Deputy Head, the mug being taken from on her by another Elfette in a pinafore on the way.

"Missy Minevra, what is being wrongs? What is the matterings?" Elsie hadn't seen the witch cry since - - Had she ever seen her Mistress cry? No- so what had happened? What was wrong?

"Missy M'Gongall?"Another house elf gently tugged at the witch's robes.

"Oh, Sev'rus!" Minerva exclaimed, tears clogging her words.

To the house-elves annoyance, the note was dropped again; as Minerva ran over to hug the forlorn student.

He frowned into his tutor's shoulder for a while; before relishing the comfort and wrapping his arms around her shaking figure, shedding a few tears of his own.

"Oh Severus... You don't deserve that..." Minerva mumbled, a hand in the boys hair. Why, it wasn't greasy at all, just limp and lifeless.. Albeit shiningly.

"I wish I could tell her how sorry I am.." He replied, clutching her for dear life, "But I'm so despicable, so unworth her time she won't... doesn't want to-" His voice hitched, tears clogging his throat. "I'm despicable." He spat.

Minerva leaned back, and took the boys face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. "Don't say that. You're not despicable. You are just as brilliant, just as clever as every other student if not more."

Severus tried to look away, but Minerva pulled his back, keeping her hands on his face. "A lot more." She emphasised. "Never forget that; no matter how bad things are; how mean people can be; you, Severus Snape, are brilliant! Smart! ..Strong." She smiled, the looked deep into his eyes; trying to convey how she felt, what she meant.

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><p>Dumbledore walked in, and saw Minerva cradling Snape's face.<p>

"Sex hair; check. Sexual tension; check. Private location; check. Out of hours?" Dumbledore checked his watch, "Check."

He nodded, then sighed silently and shook his head.

"Women." He twittered, much to some elves' amusement.

"Wait a moment before you get all steamy. I want some popcorn!" Albus chuckled, calling out so they could hear.

Minerva started, backing away so fast from Snape, she tripped over an elf; landing (not so gracefully) head over heals on the floor.

Dumbledore would **not** let Minerva forget this. Ever.

"Guilty conscious?" He smiled sweetly.


End file.
